Boxes. Edges. Belonging

<drafted Jan. 22/16 & first posted on Jan. 31/16>

So. Been meaning to write about boxes for a while now. It keeps coming up in my mind.

The fact that so many things, so much of what we human beings do, think about & are involved in, happens inside boxes … of one sort & another. Boxes boxes boxes boxes.

For example, to me religion is a box. (So sorry if this offends.) Culture is a box. Systems of any kind – all boxes. Sharp edges. Walls meant to be firm, impermeable.

Lotta rules & regulations. Telling people what to believe, believe in. How to behave.

How to behave as though they believe what they supposedly (are supposed to) believe. Even when they don’t believe what they supposedly (are supposed to) believe. (Think politicians & bureaucrats & let’s not forget corporate hotshots who speak with forked tongues, hmmmm?)

Heck, families are boxes … or can be. Jobs. Political parties/affiliations.

If you don’t stay in the box?




Parenthetical thought: Some of us single women (okay, okay, we single women; heck, grammar too is a box), who’ve been both in & outside of long-term relationships, come to see relationships themselves as boxes. You have to cut off whole limbs to fit inside the box. An arm here, a leg there. Are relationships worth losing limbs over?

Always a personal call, of course. (Some of us are pretty determined to keep all our limbs. Maybe there are relationships that permit this. One can only hope! 🙂 )

Our minds, too, of course, hmmmm? Many minds are very tight little boxes. Not much air or new & fresh ideas flowing in or out. Tightly controlled.


Some of us – maybe some of us wary of boxes, for one reason or perhaps a myriad of them – live a little over kind of on the edge of things. Maybe some of us choose the edge – maybe we got pushed over. Circumstances. Vary. Widely.

You’ll notice I’m keeping this very general. Very impersonal. Generic. So far.

(& I haven’t even referenced patriarchy yet, that scourge that is always lurking behind the scenes. Or, well, maybe at centre stage even, all too often. It does linger on so, hmmmm??)

Well, now it’s finally going to get personal.

I’ve been feeling my “nose out of joint” about something. For “personal” reasons. Self-aware enough to realize that Ego is playing the leading role here. My nose is out of joint purely because of ego.

So, I stood back a little.

Well, no, truth to tell, what I did was, I went for a walk. A good, long walk (walking almost invariably sorts stuff out for me 🙂 )

& let the thoughts, musings, feelings


(As I took in sun, sky, clouds, lake, trees, birds, squirrels)

& you know what?

I realized (as I realized quite a long time ago … so I guess you could say I remembered)

What everything is really all about, for us human beans.


Belonging is what it’s really all about.

Has been all about, for a very very very long time … hmmmm? Forever?

& as that remembering came over me

I breathed a great, huge sigh of relief


With that realization, that remembering, all of it (this personal little tempest-in-a-teapot of mine, & the events & people involved in the teapot tempest)

became poignant.

& compassion … for myself & for everyone involved, for everyone, period … welled up in me.

What a relief!!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂


p.s. our egos can really run away on us, can’t they??

p.p.s. then too, there are all of our “devices” … speaking of boxes. Another whole essay! (Some of us don’t even know how to have a conversation any more!?)

‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “How to get rid of ego as dictator and turn it into messenger and servant and scout to be in your service is the trick.” – Joseph Campbell (more JC quotes)

A few others:

“…the goal of all spiritual life is to get your ego out of the way – outwit the sucker; dissolve it; shoot it; kill it. Silence the incessant planning, organizing, running, manipulating, possessing, and processing”… “because these activities preclude awareness of the Divine.” – Rabbi Lawrence Kushner in his book I’m God, You’re Not (reviewed in Tikkun Magazine, Winter 2011 issue, their 25th anniversary issue – Theme: Transforming the World)

“Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting.” – Sidney J.Harris

“At this point in history, the most radical, pervasive, and earth-shaking transformation would occur simply if everybody truly evolved to a mature, rational, and responsible ego, capable of freely participating in the open exchange of mutual self-esteem. Then, there would be a real New Age.” ~ Ken Wilber

 “What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth: life always spills over the rim of every cup.” – Boris Pasternak

“The accepted, official version of anything is most likely false. All authority is based on fraud.” – Kenneth Rexroth

“He then learns that in going down into the secrets of his own mind he has descended into the secrets of all minds.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (more Emerson)

“Hoard each joyous moment that comes to you.

No one knows how it will all end.”


** Quotation Central hosts a ton of great, inspiring quotations in a wide range of categories. Or, um … boxes.

* e.g. walking quotes, to name just one category.