Well, it’s Good Friday again, Easter weekend again (I’ve written about Easter a couple other times, ‘Crosses, Betrayal, Resurrection’ & ‘Crosses, Circles, Resurrection’) & let's be honest, “long” weekends are not exactly my strong suit – once upon a time I used to look forward to them with great enthusiasm, but this is no longer the case…
(& yes, I am a sap; who do you think knows this better than I, pray tell???)
& I swore this morning I’d do a cheery post & as I took wet clothes out of the washing machine in preparation for hanging them outside on the clothesline in the wind & sun (today is what I call “a good hanging day”) I thought “Ah yes, I could write about ‘simple pleasures,’” but I went out for my walk (one of my simple pleasures, after hanging the laundry, another of my simple pleasures) & the truth is, today I can feel that tight feeling around my throat – that visceral, nasty grip of loneliness – for that’s what long weekends bring up in me – vicious loneliness & even worse (or is it?) the actual voice inside my head saying “Loser!!” for whom but a loser would get such vicious unpleasant feelings in the midst of, as they say, so much plenty??
So I walked along & I didn’t think about simple pleasures at all, I thought about the sins of the fathers & the mothers (I’m a mother, you see) & yes, yes, yes, the heartbreaks that visit us all, one way & another in this oh-so-challenging life…
& perhaps it is fitting, even, that I feel this vicious loneliness on Good Friday???? Perhaps it is, perhaps it is.
Whatever else it may be, it is real, & I know the knowing say thoughts come before feelings, & I’m going to work on my thoughts for the rest of the day, you bet I am
& maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to really think & focus on & write about simple pleasures once again
p.s. these feelings are powerful, & strong, & rather nasty – but I’ve been around this planet for quite a few decades now, & I’ve learned a useful thing or two, & one of these things is this:
This too shall pass.
The sages say it, & I repeat it, ‘cos it’s useful, & it isn’t just useful, it’s true.
This too shall pass.
It will It will It will…