Been doing a little garden weeding lately. One of the thoughts I’ve had while doing so was that I bet the ‘creeping charley’ “weed” in many relationships is probably simple lack of appreciation of one’s partner (or call it “taking one another for granted”; take your pick!). Another thing: sometimes you pull a weed & are taken aback by all the root it brings along with it. So much going on underground, not obvious or even visible to the naked eye. We humans have a lot going on down underground too, don’t we? We are kind of like icebergs. So much going on underneath, at the subterranean level...
Well, on my walk this morning (too hot, too hot!!), my thoughts were all over the map – although admittedly, this is not terribly unusual. What’s unusual is my doing a blog post that is basically a jumble. So shoot me!
One thought was that I feel kind of pulled in two lately. There are things I sort of feel I “should” be doing, given the state of the world (which is, in short, pretty scary! Economic disasters, nuclear disasters, climate change…need I go on??). But my heart seems to be pulling in the opposite direction. What is a person to do??
Well – I usually allow my heart to lead, so I guess I’ll keep right on doing that. One step at a time, one day at a time. As fully “in the moment” as I can be.
Which reminds me of something else that keeps coming into my mind lately.
I suspect most of us overthink. We think we can “control” things – ourselves, our lives, our loved ones, etc. – so we make intricate plans, many of which fall apart spectacularly on a moment’s notice when circumstances (i.e., real life) comes along & says “Oops – sorry! Best change those plans!!”
I’ve learned (the hard way of course, the way I seem to learn all my lessons) that while one does of course have to make plans in this life, there is sure not much point in being overly invested in them!
I sometimes see people building up an elaborate set of interconnected arrangements, all based on one particular assumption that very early in the game proves to be utterly mistaken. Oops! Back to Square 1.
Too many plans/assumptions/expectations/judgments… all keeping us from living “in the moment” (see ‘Zen story,’ below, to get a real pointer to in-the-moment living).
A thought about breaking all the rules also came to mind. I seem to be constitutionally incapable of playing life “by the rules.” It isn’t willfull – it’s just apparently wired very deeply in me, this inability to stay “inside the lines.” I’m very, very poor at conformity. I’ve tried, honest!
I used to feel a little apologetic about this. Not anymore. Turns out quite a few people envy me my life for its freedom. So now, instead of apologizing for my unusual life, I’m doing my best to celebrate it.
It also occurred to me that there are some folks who fault me for not playing “by the rules.” If playing by the rules is what our corrupt governments & corporations are doing routinely (seems to be, eh?), well what can I say?? Doesn’t look so much like it’s working, exactly, from where I sit.
And, since being an anti-nuclear activist is part of my “job description,” as it were, I can’t help but make a segue to the nuclear industry. Now there’s an industry where a little (or a lot) of overthinking might have been a good thing, eh??
Instead of thinking far down the road to the consequences their shenanigans & thoughtlessness/arrogance would lead to, these characters have relied (continue to rely) on what my friend Steve calls “technological optimism.” They are filled with “engineering euphoria” (thanks, Gordon, for that gem). This industry has poisoned our Earth so thoroughly that I am no longer able to even imagine much of a future for the human race (of course, between climate change, nuclear pollution & a devastated ocean/water bodies of all kinds, hope just seems to keep receding & receding, doesn’t it?)
What is a person to do??
I know I did a blog post with that title once upon a time. Maybe I’ll re-read it now, & hope I said something in there insightful enough that it will help me now.
On that note, here ends this jumble of a blog post!
‘Quote of the day’ w. this post: “We are not meant to fit in, we’re meant to stand out.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
P.S. Two great authors very worth reading on the subject of living in the moment, with links to posts I’ve written about them:
P.P.S. The ‘Zen story’ I promised: “A man travelling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other…………… How sweet it tasted.”