Time for a little fun!!
After all these oh-so-serious blog posts (my last 7) about the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission (CNSC) & the plans of Bruce Power (BP, eh?) to ship radioactive steam generators through the Great Lakes & Atlantic Ocean to Sweden (all related posts listed/linked here), I figure it’s about time for a little levity.
CNSC tribunal president Michael Binder put me onto this the other day in Ottawa.
I was at the CNSC hearing on BP’s plans to ship 16 (& eventually another 16 & then…who knows how many more??) school-bus-sized, retired radioactive steam generators (SG) through the Great Lakes & St. Lawrence Seaway & Atlantic Ocean to Studsvik, Sweden, for “recycling.” (Please see postings mentioned above for lots of info & “chat” about all this... And, if you are a real glutton for punishment, go here to find a Webcast of the hearing. Pretty amazing, enlightening, shocking & eye-opening to see how this body - the CNSC, I mean - operates. Mind-boggling!!)
(The post ‘Radioactive Cutlery, Anyone?’ explains a little about my take on this subject & why you might want to be paying attention too. It also contains, in the 3rd paragraph, several links where you can find lots more background info, e.g., a great fact sheet about reprocessing nuclear waste on the NIRS site’s Fact Sheets page.)
At the hearing, Michael Binder asked at one point what the “bumper sticker message” was after CNSC staffer Mihok had chatted on about some disagreement over international health standards – in response to the (awesome) Mark Mattson (Lake Ontario Waterkeeper) presentation.
Aha! I thought, & began creating a list of possible bumper stickers.
Bumper stickers inspired by Duncan Hawthorne, head of Bruce Power:
- 2 wrongs make a right, right? Or, “Let Me Reassure You” (when informing the public that his company has “shipped over 1200 class 7 radioactive material shipments” in the past 5 years)
- Facts are my friend! (hmmmmmm…….)
- If you can’t nuke ‘em, rebuke ‘em! (He came right out & said, in his introductory remarks, that he’d like to see a “rebuke” issued to his opponents)
- Let ‘em sink! (seems to be more or less his response to concerns about how the ship would be brought up after a sinking. Or, “We’ll figure that out when the time comes, eh?”)
- Oops!Or maybe just “No comment” (when reminded of the contents of the Bruce Power 2005-2007 Environmental Assessment & the plans laid out at that time for the SGs & the risks involved then even just moving them within the Bruce Power/OPG site & the HUGE change now being proposed for them.)
- Public discourse is “less informed” eh? (so Hawthorne says...)
- Just trust us!
Bumper stickers inspired by CNSC Staff:
- When is a project not a project? (in response to calls for an Environmental Assessment or EA)
- Too busy to consult! (in response to a failure to consult properly with First Nations communities, & U.S. communities. Oh, & Canadian communities. And the entire Province of Quebec, actually…), bringing us nicely along to…
- Oops! (after the 50% error/underestimate in their list of radioisotopes contained in the SGs)
- Bleah, bleah, bleah, bleah, bleah (in response to soooooo many questions)
- If you can’t speak the truth succinctly, bore ‘em to death! (ditto)
- “Credible Marine Accident”/ BP spill: a credible (or incredible?) accident scenario?? (in response to queries about their failure to consider serious, credible potential accident scenarios)
- We do not believe there would be a breach in the generator shell (highly reassuring ??? language from CNSC staff regarding the possibility of radioactive material leakage/escape in the case of an accident/sinking of the ship)
- Just trust us!
CNSC Tribunal Bumper Stickers:
- 2 wrongs add up to a right…right? Or “Let Me Reassure You!” (in response to concerns about shipments of radioactive goods – millions of them per year, apparently!)
- "We Don’t CARE What Happens in Sweden!" (in response to queries about the processes used by Studsvik, & what percentage of radioactive material will remain &/or wind up “free-released” into global scrap metal supplies, &/or be sent back to Canada) & btw, to clarify, this is an actual quote from CNSC Head Honcho Michael Binder.
- No Radioactive Goods Here Please! (Mr. Binder seems to think it’s OK to export radioactive waste, but not to import radioactively-contaminated metal. Kind of a “Do as I say, not as I do” scenario, I’d say…)
- Just trust us!
Bumper Stickers Inspired by CNSC/Bruce Power Shenanigans & Claims:
- BP/CNSC: who ya gonna trust?
- BP Strikes Again!
- Bring on the 6-year olds! (who'd know enough to shut this project down in 5 minutes flat)
- B.S. Alert / BQ Quotient Exceeded! [BQ stands for Bullshit Quotient]
- Deny. Diminish. Deflect. Attack the public interest groups. [Precisely what corporate folks do in the face of tough opposition]
- Down the rabbit hole!
- Lack of integrity alert!
- Negligible? Or Negligent?
- Oops! Oops, oops, oops & more Oops…
- “Safe.” Says who?? Mr. Potato Head? Homer Simpson maybe??
- Speaking Truth to Power (Pssst! Power isn’t Listening)
- Startled by Strontium
- The Emperor Has No Clothes
- Turn off the lie machine!
- We Are Underwhelmed (in response to BP/CNSC anemic reassurances such as “acceptable” & “adequate” & “low risk”)
- Trust you. You’re kidding…right??
- What’s the Darn Rush?
- How’s about a little plutonium with that, eh?