Let me declare unequivocally here & now that I feel (sometimes) lately as though I am … spinning.
Up & down, back & forth. Like a yo-yo.
Not quite sure from one day to the next what’s really what.
On the one hand I speak often about NTE (near-term extinction) – my belief (one in which I am most assuredly not alone) that we human beans are on our “last legs,” as they say.
(along with sundry other issues of which many readers may be unaware, e.g. thinning ozone layer (yes, no, it is assuredly not “all fixed up”); ubiquitous radioactive fallout/waste in water (rivers, lakes, streams, oceans), air, on land, absolutely all over our beloved Planet Earth; ocean pollution/warming/acidity/sea level rise etc. (ocean issues alone are, sadly, legion :( ); etc. etc.)
& then on the other hand, I can be quite Pollyanna-ish & cheerful
(likely due mostly my Aries nature? Living in the moment? Grateful, always, for life & Life (with a capital L) & the beauties & miracles of Nature; this is one amazingly, abundantly stunning planet we have been gifted with, born to & on! :) :) :) Slight understatement…)
And, sometimes lately, I find it harder to be cheerful, knowing what I know, feeling, almost viscerally at times, the acceleration of the aforementioned problems, climate change right at the front of this unruly, unpleasant parade we are all marching in, whether we know it or not…
& btw, this day, 8 days before Christmas 2015, on which I am writing this (sitting down by the lake, Lake Ontario that is), is a stunner. :) We’ve had days & days & days of dreary gloom – rain – horrifically unseasonable weather – but today the sun is REALLY showing off, I have to say – & so is the lake, & the sky is right up there (heh heh) being glorious too.
Whoa. Wow! Stunner. :) :)
But back to spinning.
It’s all crazier & crazier by the day.
(I surely cannot be alone in perceiving this.)
& some daze I feel as though I am spinning, & quite frankly, scarcely sure what to do. I’ve had two pretty outstandingly crappy days this week so far – & sometimes (e.g. this morning) I had to basically grab myself by the scruff of the neck & hightail it out for a walk
No email, no Facebook, no Internet, no “news”
Just get the heck out toute suite, or another “dead” day would grab me by the entrails
I suspect that meaning is another issue, here, & now.
I’ve never really had trouble in the past, finding or making meaning for myself, in the world, in my own life
(I believe we humans MAKE meaning, are wired to make meaning, & we could go down a (potentially interesting) philosophical path here & talk Viktor Frankl & no doubt many other people & theories)
but let’s just say that right now I feel a little more adrift in the meaning department, than usual
I’m sort of between “assignments” right now, you might say, & not being chained to a gerbil wheel in the fashion of so many of my fellow humans
& being aware of what looks to be looming ahead of us, meaning is … morphing, I guess you could say.
I’m not sure that I want to keep doing what I’ve been doing. It is often rewarding, always challenging, but you know, not to put too fine a point on it, a little soul-sucking, a good deal of the time… :(
& I think I might like to detour into things that are of practical help to human beans alive here & now, here & now
& I’ve got an idea or 2 in mind
& in the meantime, I’m determined to (try &) remain calm about this spinning thing
& for sure enjoy THIS day to the max – it really is none too shabby despite its vast & rather off-putting unseasonable-ness
& I’m still alive…
& so are you!
So I guess we ought to celebrate ... hmmmm????
p.s. writing, I suppose, helps me both figure out & impose? meaning on life/my life/Life. Walking helps with that too. :)
p.p.s. what a great day!
p.p.p.s. or as I wrote way back in August 2008, in what later became, I think, the first posting on this blog, “What a mess! It’s great to be alive!”
‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. That's a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Runners-up: “Wake up. Kick ass. Be kind. Repeat.” – Rob Breszny, Dec. 31/14.
“4 Rules for Life
- Show up.
- Pay attention.
- Tell the truth.
- Don’t be attached to the results.” – Angeles Arrien, U.S. teacher & author (1940 – )
“Be joyful, though you have considered the facts.” – Wendell Berry