Once upon a very long time ago now, a key long-term relationship in my life came to an end. Among other things, I was told I did not make the other person happy.
I didn’t know enough then to say
“Well, um, it isn’t actually up to ME to make YOU happy; happiness is an inside job, you see”
& it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, it wouldn’t have made any difference ‘cos the truth is, we were done (completely, 100% or maybe even 300% done, as far as this other person was concerned)
& let’s face it, I had for sure made my fair share of mistakes; let’s just be totally upfront about that
But I sure do wish I had known then some of the things I’ve learned since, eh???
Today I was thinking about this, & wondering whether some people still think it’s up to somebody else to “make them happy”
& whether some poor souls have taken on as their life assignment the job of trying to make some other (particular) person happy
(& hey, I know darn well this does still happen; I know some folks like this, & for sure it doesn’t look like any too much fun, from the outside, anyway)
Today I sure made myself happy out on my walk by the lake!
My legs simply adore moving, so most days I make darn sure they do.
Yesterday (Monday the 13th) was a “shitty” day & I didn’t have a walk – so I kind of had to make up for “lost” time
& as I was walking I was thinking of a few things that make me happy/feel good
- walking, period
- picking up garbage alongside the Boardwalk, plastic stuff mostly (so it doesn’t wind up in the lake, in the critters)
- counting my blessings
- watching the sun peek out from the midst of the very dark & ominous-looking clouds over on the other side of the lake & making the lake all shimmery in that spot across the lake
- taking a break from “devices” of all kinds – cell phones laptops the Internet
- taking a detour to the library & leaving with an armful of books I’m dying to read
- enjoying my solitude & silence, enjoying these both sooooo profoundly
- making a pot of homemade soup
- running across, by fluke, a couple of old blog postings (one here & the other here) that made me smile & feel glad I keep on writing
- watching/listening to ‘the great bell chant’ when things just feel like too much & as though I can’t breathe
- “doing something for somebody quick”
- slowing down & doing NOTHING occasionally but maybe sitting on a bench & looking out at the lake, just sitting & breathing & gazing…
- knowing it’s quite alright to have an occasional “shitty” day & not do very much or achieve very much or feel cheery or energetic or sociable, ‘cos you know?? We are allowed…
& it makes me happy that so many “small” things make me feel happy & blessed.
And for sure for sure, I will never ever say to anyone
“You don’t make me happy.”
I make myself happy, dudes.
‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “Be joyful, though you have considered the facts.” – Wendell Berry (farmer, Christian, writer, poet, great thinker)
** whole page of great quotes & links about happiness here; do check it out!