Surrender / Rage Paradox

<Sept. 24/15> So. Near-term extinction or NTE, about which I write now, often-ish … hmmm? Our own looming extinction as a species. (whole NTE section on this blog since last November.)

To which I have surrendered – quite a long time ago, in my own case. Surrender comes in stages, though, I guess – just like our reaction to our own coming personal death … or so they say.

I know my own surrender to our looming extinction has taken place over years. Decades, actually. For many years it was way, way up in my head – just an intellectual concept, really.

I think it’s sort of in my bones, now. It’s very very real, very fundamental & yet at times, still quite surreal-feeling.

But then, that’s not so surprising, is it?

When someone we love dies, even though we know it’s coming, & in some cases perhaps even wish for the person’s release (to end her/his suffering), it is still a surprise how our feelings overtake us when it happens. Shock, even – quite as though we had not been expecting the loss … though of course we had.

Well.

Really, I meant to talk about – get immediately onto – the rage part.

Does everyone know the Dylan Thomas poem? Do not go gentle into that good night?

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light”?

I’ve been thinking about it recently – not the whole poem, so much as the

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light” part.

Truth = I find my own behaviour somewhat inexplicable, lately.

 

I am “surrendered” to our extinction. Utterly so. 150%.

& yet, in effect, what I am doing (I guess?)

with my continued anti-nuclear efforts

is raging against the dying of the light.

 

(Plenty of rage involved at some points, trust me!?)

 

On & on I go, fighting this (truly appalling) industry against which I know I cannot ever really “win.”

Their wastes are strewn all over our lovely planet – every square inch of it, truly.

 

In the air, stubbornly in the earth, the soils

The water – the rivers, streams, lakes, oceans.

 

Nowhere has this sick, evil industry not left its permanent, indelible traces.

 

(Did I say traces???? More like concrete footprints. The size of vast fleets of dump trucks. Ugh. Horrible!)

 

Fallout is forever. In human terms, at any rate. Maybe not in geological terms. But you know, I’m human, & so are you, so … we do think in those terms, hmmm?

 

Do you know how long the reactors located right beside Lake Ontario, east of Toronto (10 creaky old things, 6 at the Pickering Nuclear Generating Station (PNGS) & 4 at the Darlington NGS – Pings & Dings – can be kept “cool” if the power goes out? If the grid goes down? (Uh, I mean when the grid goes down.)

(Reader, the lights WILL go off. The grid WILL go down. No, I don’t know when. No crystal ball here.)

You can count it in days & hours. Not very bloody damn long, thanks very much.

Then the lovely “gifts” of nuclear energy will waft & circulate & wend their way on the winds, poisoning all & sundry – in concert with the gifts of 400+ other nuclear reactor stations all over the globe.

When the power goes off, the grid goes down.

& it will, it will, of course it will.

 

Insanity

Doing the same thing over & over, expecting different results.

Right? (We can quibble over who said this; apparently it was not Einstein, as so many believe … But you know, whatever; my quibbling energy is very low at this particular moment.)

I think almost all of us qualify here. For the insanity designation, I mean.

 

Some of us pretend the climate “problem” can still be “fixed” (as if!) & work toward that end.

Some of us pretend we can still make the world over, in renewable ways (you know, wind & solar & all that lovely, sensible, stuff, & it is lovely & sensible, just decades & decades or maybe even centuries too late) – & work toward that end (bless all of our hearts :) ; there are much worse things we could, of course, be doing...)

Some of us (yours truly among them) behave as though our personal efforts to tame the nuclear Goliath can really bear some kind of meaningful fruit ... (as if)

& work toward that end.

 

Well. Aren’t we all just

“Raging against the dying of the light?”

really?

 

We’re all kind of nutso, don’t you think??

Here we are, lurking & hanging out, leaning over the very cusp/abyss of our own demise as a species (or frankly, half or three-quarters of the way down the slope already)

Denying what we all (surely) know is coming

(yes, no, not the 2nd coming)

 

(Can we not all sense it in our very viscera by now??)

 

Doing the same things over & over (& over), expecting different results.

 

Sigh.

 

……………………………

Ah well, for now, I’ll keep raging (for now, for now; no guarantees on the time frame here)

(& donating money – ‘cos we can’t take it with us, you know!)

& enjoying strawberries

 

How I DO love strawberries…

:)

 

Janet

 

p.s. & you know? The full title of this post could just as well be Surrender. Rage. Joy. Gratitude. Celebration

'cos believe me, the joy, gratitude & celebration

 are still big in me. Very big, still, oh yes

 I am enjoying the strawberries, still – very much.

(& well, let's be 100% honest here. The grief in me is also very considerable at times...)

 

‘Quote of the day’ with this post:

Zen Poem:

A man travelling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge.

The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other.

How sweet it tasted.

 

* Gobs of great quotes here in a whole whack of categories!