I’ve been writing lately about truth-telling & giving one another permission to feel our feelings – & along these lines, it occurs to me that we really do often try to shut one another down & not give others permission to feel their feelings. We get pretty distinct messages sometimes that no one really wants us to articulate the really sort of messy, challenging stuff we sometimes are feeling & going through.
(or hmmm. Maybe we only think that – fear that. Maybe the people close to us really can handle hearing our feelings… Maybe we need to experiment with this a bit…)
It also occurs to me that it’s inevitable we sometimes wind up not living up to other people’s expectations of us…
And further, wouldn’t it be nice if maybe we all stopped having so many expectations of other people?? If we didn’t have so darn many, we wouldn’t be so frequently disappointed. Right??
Further still, I sort of want to ask all the people in my life not to have too many expectations of me right now (or maybe anytime??). Because not only will I very likely not be able to live up to them, shoot!! I’m not even living up to my own expectations of myself right now!?
I reckon we all need to cut one another pretty significant amounts of slack…you know?? I guess I sort of touched on all of this in the essays ‘Light Things, Heavy Things’ & ‘We are ALL Impossible’ – I’m just in a personal place right now where things are hard enough to cope with on a day-to-day basis, without my having to worry about other people’s expectations of me...when I’m not even able to live up to my own.
Here is a wonderfully comforting thought, though. Eckhart Tolle says (in one of the audiotapes I have of him), “We are all God, in heavy disguise.”
Isn’t that a wonderful thought? For me, it’s one of the Tolle statements that resonates 100% – and gives me an awful lot of comfort.
(The book The Four Agreements(1) is awesome too. I’m working to adhere to these:
#1 – Be impeccable with your word
# 2 – Don’t take anything personally (Yikes!! Mighty challenging sometimes, hmm?)
# 3 – Don’t make assumptions &
# 4 – Always do your best.)
My best is not so very, very good right now – but as a cute bookmark I was once given said, “Please be patient. God isn’t finished with me yet.”
Amen to that, say I.
I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’ – and it helps so much to remember Tolle’s “We’re all God, in heavy disguise.” (mine is a very, very heavy one, just now….)
(1) The Four Agreements – A Toltec Wisdom Book, by Don Miguel Ruiz, Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997. A potentially life-changing book, actually...