<March 4/14.> I’ve been doing “women’s work” all my life.
Some of it appreciated.
Some of it not.
Just like all women
(or many/most; exceptions to every rule, as we know)
We work at this, we work at that
Some of it paying
Much of it not
Some of it appreciated
Much of it, not
We seldom beat our breasts
Insist on recognition
Expect awards, or adulation
No need to be heroes
(though much of what so many do is truly heroic)
We speak quietly (mostly)
We’re very polite (mostly)
We get walked on quite a lot.
There isn’t one, really.
(It’s all just patriarchy, of course.
** & what is “women’s work?” Oh, anything a woman does. Family stuff, work stuff ... whatever. By definition, anything a woman does is always worth less than anything a man does. Or this seems to be the way patriarchy has always viewed things. Female-ness = of less value than male-ness. You don’t have to look far to see this attitude still very much in evidence, I’m afraid.
Patriarchy …. still.
p.s. I am aware it may be considered ... churlish ... of me to post this. Just a woman being a nag. Bitching again. "Bossy" woman who is never satisfied. Men, of course, are never bitchy, or bossy ... & they never nag. They are simply firm, strong-minded, assertive, sure of themselves. Language can really be interesting, can't it??
‘Quote of the day’ with this post: “If ever there comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of [hu]mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never seen.” – Matthew Arnold, quoted in Utne magazine
Runners-up: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, American historian/writer
“Always be prepared to believe that experts are stupid. They very often are.” – Jane Jacobs in CBC interview with Eleanor Wachtel, Oct. 6/02.
Thomas Merton said it best: “Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.” (quoted by Carolyn Baker in her book review of the Guy McPherson book Going Dark )
“It reminded me of talking, how what is said is never quite what was thought, and what is heard is never quite what was said. It wasn’t much in the way of comfort, but everything has a little failure in it, and we still make do somehow.” – The Yellow Birds, by Kevin Powers
“Her grief was dignified and hidden, as is most grief, which is partly why there is always so much of it to go around.” – The Yellow Birds, by Kevin Powers
“The cultivation of a stance of invulnerability robs men of a wisdom known to most women in this culture – that people actually connect better when they expose their weakness. Linguist Deborah Tannen, analyzing women’s ‘rapport talk’ versus men’s ‘report talk,’ found that a vital component of conversation between women was what she called ‘trouble talk’ – inviting the listener in by opening up one’s own points of vulnerability. Finally, to the degree to which a man learns to ‘be strong’ and to devalue weakness, his compassion toward frailty not just in himself but also in those around him may be limited or condescending. In this and many other ways, the loss of expressivity and the loss of vulnerability inevitably lead to diminished connection with others.” – from I Don’t Want to Talk About It – Overcoming The Secret Legacy of Male Depression, by Terrence Real