The Radiance of the Doomed

<June 16/18>

As I will sometimes preface a remark to a friend or acquaintance (my close friends already know this), I have a very (very) dark view of the coming times for our species…

Yet in the past couple of days I’ve felt … lighter than usual. Super-super unusually grateful for being alive.

The sky seems so blue!
The trees so green!

Yes, the weather/climate scene is scary. The climate is running amok, apace, no question at all about that! (Eeeeeeek………)

World politics are horrifying, & there are some things going on that I’d be willing to get arrested protesting (for the record, NOT climate change; been there, done that; that ship sailed longgggggg ago, for me anyway).

I’m still embroiled in activist work of an utterly hopeless variety. (As if anything we anti-nukers can do at this late stage of the game could matter a whit in the face of the onslaught of the military-industrial complex. Laughable. As if!)


  • Hanging out with humans I care about
  • Having conversations with (conscious) humans
  • Talking
  • Laughing
  • Walking
  • Working
  • Listening to cardinals (& other birds)
  • Seeing cardinals (& other birds)

& the stars!

Last night I actually saw stars over the city of Toronto

What a treat!

& I was trying to explain my mood to my friend (the friend from whose balcony I was seeing the Toronto skyline at night)

She & I are pretty much on the same page about what’s coming for the human race (a race, eh? Finish line in sight??)

& she said she’d heard a phrase something like

“The radiance of the doomed.” Or was it damned??


Whatever, eh?

I can look it up, of course – but right now I have zero desire to turn on any of my devices.

Right now it’s just me & a cup of coffee & a notepad & pen.

& it’s Saturday morning.


Who knows how long we have before #ChaosDescends (even more chaos-y than it already is, I mean; I think it’s going to get a whole lot worse, & maybe soon)


So, heaven help us (though I don’t believe in heaven)

Heaven help us on a thousand fronts – personal & global.

Just gonna enjoy this “radiance” while it lasts!


p.s. & the "radiance?" It came at a time when I was doing an incredible amount of work on a 5-day nuclear licensing hearing that those of us in the know were aware was really only a huge exercise in theatre, with the decision already long since pre-determined. All the players merely acting out their roles. Despair-making, if one lets oneself go down that kind of rabbit hole … hmmm? It was really odd, feeling so ... calm ... about stuff that usually makes me feel utterly crazy & awful. Pretty cool….