Parenthood

There were sins of omission

Sins of commission

 

We likely did the very best we could!

 

But ... looking at it now from greater distance?

 

It really wasn’t very, very good.

 

 

sigh. :( :(

 

 

 

 

Quotations with this post:

“We bless the life around us far more than we realize. Many simple, ordinary things that we do can affect those around us in profound ways: the unexpected phone call, the brief touch, the willingness to listen generously, the warm smile or wink of recognition. We can even bless total strangers and be blessed by them. Big messages come in small packages. All it may take to restore someone’s trust in life may be returning a lost earring or a dropped glove.” – Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., in her wonderful book My Grandfather’s Blessings – Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging

“I believe that to pursue the American Dream is not only futile but self-destructive because ultimately it destroys everything and everyone involved with it. By definition it must, because it nurtures everything except those things that are important: integrity, ethics, truth, our very heart and soul. Why? The reason is simple: because Life/life is about giving, not getting.” – Hubert Selby Jr., 'Requiem for a Dream,' quoted in In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – Close Encounters with Addiction, by Gabor Mate, M.D.

“Life is the ultimate teacher, but it is usually through experience and not scientific research that we discover its deepest lessons. A certain percentage of those who have survived near-death experiences speak of a common insight which afforded a glimpse of life’s basic lesson plan. We are all here for a single purpose: to grow in wisdom and to learn to love better. We can do this through losing as well as through winning, by having and by not having, by succeeding or failing. All we need to do is to show up openhearted for class. So fulfilling life’s purpose may depend more on how we play than what we are dealt.” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., in Kitchen Table Wisdom – Stories that Heal

“At twenty-one, I still believed that if you could only get to see the sunrise at Stonehenge, or full moon at the Taj Mahal, you would be nabbed by truth. And then you would be well, and able to relax and feel fully alive. But I actually knew a few true things. I had figured out that truth and freedom were pretty much the same. And that almost everyone was struggling to wake up, to be loved, and not feel so afraid all the time. That’s what the cars, degrees, booze, and drugs were about.” – Anne Lamott in the Prelude to Grace (Eventually) – Thoughts on Faith

“It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox, full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said, ‘Do the best you can do with these, they will have to do.’ And mostly, against all odds, they’re enough.” – Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies – Some Thoughts on Faith

“People think that because it’s common for families to break up, children must weather it okay, but I don’t think they do. I work with families for a living, and for their sake and for mine I’ve held out against the idea that breakups are apocalyptic―but they are. For children, it’s an atom bomb going off, no matter how tactfully parents manage it. Family life, whatever the quality, is the medium children live in. They’re not separate from it. An individual self that can prevail, that can withstand change and loss, is a wobbly construct at the best of times. It’s theoretical or, if it exists at all, must come sometime later. Maybe by middle age we have a self. In a child it doesn’t exist. A child has no skin. When the adults come asunder, the child does too. They just do. I know this mournfulness in [her daughter].” – from Starting Out in the Afternoon – a Mid-Life Journey into Wild Land, by Jill Frayne

“ ..and gaze bemused when our children are ripped almost crazy when we separate.” – Dr. Martin Shaw, in the foreword to Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul, by Stephen Jenkinson

“If a thing is never spoken between people who know each other well, and each knows the thing well, maybe it’s not a secret. …. It’s a powerful thing, that ability to tell the truth when the truth is upon you, but it has another power entirely when you don’t tell it.” – Stephen Jenkinson in Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul

“If you can’t say something, you can’t see it either.” – Stephen Jenkinson in Die Wise – A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul

“People with self-respect have a kind of moral nerve. The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.” – Joan Dideon (quoted in Failure to Communicate – How Conversations Go Wrong & What You Can Do to Right Them, by Holly Weeks)

“Many of the things we all struggle with in love and work can be helped by conversation. Without conversation, studies show that we are less empathic, less connected, less creative and fulfilled. We are diminished, in retreat.” – from Reclaiming Conversation – The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, by Sherry Turkle

“The world moves when we all learn, wherever we come from, to question the systems of power, privilege and prejudice in which we are raised, and to consider how we might best lend our energies and resources to shift those systems, to make life fairer and freer for everyone. That’s not a lesson they teach you in school.” – Laurie Penny, in the article ‘It’s easy for rich kids to break the rules. But it’s not how the world changes'