The Radiance of the Doomed

<June 16/18>

As I will sometimes preface a remark to a friend or acquaintance (my close friends already know this), I have a very (very) dark view of the coming times for our species…

Yet in the past couple of days I’ve felt … lighter than usual. Super-super unusually grateful for being alive.

The sky seems so blue!
The trees so green!

Yes, the weather/climate scene is scary. The climate is running amok, apace, no question at all about that! (Eeeeeeek………)

World politics are horrifying, & there are some things going on that I’d be willing to get arrested protesting (for the record, NOT climate change; been there, done that; that ship sailed longgggggg ago, for me anyway).

I’m still embroiled in activist work of an utterly hopeless variety. (As if anything we anti-nukers can do at this late stage of the game could matter a whit in the face of the onslaught of the military-industrial complex. Laughable. As if!)


  • Hanging out with humans I care about
  • Having conversations with (conscious) humans
  • Talking
  • Laughing
  • Walking
  • Working
  • Listening to cardinals (& other birds)
  • Seeing cardinals (& other birds)

& the stars!

Last night I actually saw stars over the city of Toronto

What a treat!

& I was trying to explain my mood to my friend (the friend from whose balcony I was seeing the Toronto skyline at night)

She & I are pretty much on the same page about what’s coming for the human race (a race, eh? Finish line in sight??)

& she said she’d heard a phrase something like

“The radiance of the doomed.” Or was it damned??


Whatever, eh?

I can look it up, of course – but right now I have zero desire to turn on any of my devices.

Right now it’s just me & a cup of coffee & a notepad & pen.

& it’s Saturday morning.


Who knows how long we have before #ChaosDescends (even more chaos-y than it already is, I mean; I think it’s going to get a whole lot worse, & maybe soon)


So, heaven help us (though I don’t believe in heaven)

Heaven help us on a thousand fronts – personal & global.

Just gonna enjoy this “radiance” while it lasts!


p.s. & the "radiance?" It came at a time when I was doing an incredible amount of work on a 5-day nuclear licensing hearing that those of us in the know were aware was really only a huge exercise in theatre, with the decision already long since pre-determined. All the players merely acting out their roles. Despair-making, if one lets oneself go down that kind of rabbit hole … hmmm? It was really odd, feeling so ... calm ... about stuff that usually makes me feel utterly crazy & awful. Pretty cool….

Myths that don’t serve us … & what to do now?


1.     Money buys happiness. Things buy happiness. We can buy our way to happiness. Do I really need to say anything more here?? Surely everyone knows long since that these are the myths of the millennium???

2.    Love will last forever. Well. Maybe nobody really buys that one anymore. Or, well, not for long…

3.    “It can’t happen here.” You know. A nuclear disaster. A family disaster. A divorce in your wonderful perfect family. A horrible illness. Whatever. (It can always happen here.)

4.    The system will look after us. Ha! You kidding me?? Only if we’re in the 1%. And you know what? Not even then. The Earth’s air/water/earth/food/ozone layer are now so badly damaged – climate change ramping up at every turn – not even the rich & powerful can run from it. If you can’t grow the food you need to feed you, & if the climate is going to become unpredictable enough that we can no longer grow food (which seems about 100% inevitable, now) – how can even the rich survive?? Humans gotta eat. (& if the ozone layer is finally totally destroyed, life outside the oceans will not survive. That’s just biology. & the oceans are all messed up. Sadly. Yeah. Really, really badly. We did that.)

5.    We can “save the planet.” “Save the humans.” Well, um, I think it’s (long) past that point. Make peace with that. (& sure, it sucks. Be sad! Grieve it. Nothing wrong with that! Lotta posts about grief on this blog, all listed in this posting. & listen, about grief. I think we're ALL grieving. Lots of us just don't know it. Instead, we're angry, or numb. The grief is underneath. How could this not be so??)

6.    “Something” or “Somebody” will save us. The government. God. Big Brother. Mom & Pop. The “health” care system. Well. I wouldn’t hold my breath on any one of those agencies/deities/people stepping up to the plate, even if they exist (I personally do not believe in a deity, & I have zero faith in governments/bureaucracies/corporations/the “health care” system). I think we’re on our own. I think we gotta grow up, people. I think we gotta get real.

7.    It can’t get any worse. Well. I think we can all feel in our bones the un-truth of that one. I think many of us can feel viscerally that it can get worse, that it is getting worse. By the day, pretty much.


So. What Now, then?

  • Squawk

  • Protest

  • Speak up

  • Make noise

  • Be kind

  • Be generous

  • Quit bitching; start a revolution (saw this on a T-shirt, & love it!)

  • Get help, if you need it. Ask for help, if you need it. Offer help, when & where you can.

  • Learn

  • Talk

  • Make a difference

  • Realize that any privilege/s you have are just that. Privileges. Give thanks ... & give back!

  • Learn to be nimble on your feet

  • Live in the moment

  • Haul your head out of your own arse

  • Haul your head out of your damn phone (we need community, people! Community is not found inside a computer or a “smart” phone. We need to be smart for ourselves; damn the damn phones!?)

  • Build good memories. Be grateful for the ones you already have!

  • Walk.

  • Read!

  • Say “thank you!” a lot. To everyone, everything. People, the trees, the sky; you know … everything! Gratitude really saves our asses!!

  • DON’T “count every penny.” Yech. Definitely, definitely NOT. Be charitably generous. Please!

  • Love yourself. Forgive yourself. (Only that way can you love & forgive others)

  • Be friendly! (& also mindful of when to keep your distance)

  • Be open to small things giving you jolts of joy, after which you can cheerfully say “Well, THAT sure made my day!!” (or tell the person who just made your day, that they just made your day!.That will very likely make THEIR day!)

  • Have long, rambling conversations with people you know & care about, &/or with strangers who are open to long, rambling conversations. Conversation is AWEsome.

  • Laugh as much as humanly possible.

  • Cry sometimes too. We all need that.

  • Don’t be afraid of “making an ass of yourself.”

  • Don’t take yourself too seriously. Lighten up!

  • Learn to value circles, not hierarchies & hatreds.

#We Are Still Here!

Let’s make use of ourselves for as long as we’re here!

p.s. this!

“For the great enemy of truth is very often not the lie – deliberate, contrived, and dishonest – but the myth – persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forbears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” – John F. Kennedy

& this

"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” – Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark  

“Frederick Douglass taught that literacy is the path from slavery to freedom. There are many kinds of slavery and many kinds of freedom, but reading is still the path.” – Carl Sagan (I found it here)

Chemtrails, the Ozone Layer … & simple common sense

“The US and Canada had been cooperating in weather modification experiments since 1958.”
Dr. Rosalie Bertell**

** more quotes from Dr. Bertell’s book at the end of this posting.

Full disclosure: This little essay is not a “technical” one about the substances involved in the chemtrail or geoengineering experiment / assault under which we are all living, in these oh-so-challenging days. You can find plenty of technical information about this elsewhere. Resources are on offer! Including a link to a very interesting interview with a neurologist about what this stuff is doing to our brains. Scroll to the end for this list if you prefer to skip my chatter.

This is just little citizen scientist & attention-payer me here to tell you that when some scientist (or journalist or … friend, colleague, or well … anyone) tells you that the phenomenon does not exist, you will need to do a little more research instead of just swallowing (& promoting) that over-confident (& erroneous) assertion.

I offer up some odds & ends as indicators that the skeptics on this issue are frankly either naïve, gullible, uninformed … or all three (or worse – that they have a particular disinformation agenda to deliberately promote).

And that you will likely need to dig a little deeper.

I myself have been aware of this phenomenon for at least the past 15 years … probably longer.

I’ve just re-read the chapter ‘Chemtrails: Compromising Public Health and Civil Confidence’ (by William Thomas) in the book Death in the Air – Globalism, Terrorism and Toxic Warfare, by Dr. Leonard G. Horowitz. And a simply mind-blowing bunch of information it is! Highly, highly recommended. It documents a problem or phenomenon that seems to have begun in a very observable way in late 1998 with skytrails criss-crossing skies in, over time, New Mexico, Michigan, Florida, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Colorado, Ohio, San Francisco and Utah, in the U.S., & also in other countries (England & Wales).  (Note that Dr. Rosalie Bertell has stated, “The US and Canada had been cooperating in weather modification experiments since 1958.” More on this below.)

Plenty of eye-witness testimony, plenty of data & direct experiences of chemtrails (& illness) reported. And photos. Patents. Flu information from hospitals. (Seems likely this is the time when the phrase "flu-like" illness came into being. Digression = current flu scene info here.) Edward Teller & his “sunscreen” hypothesis. I really wish this chapter was available on-line!

Is it all about weather modification/manipulation? Deliberate spreading of dangerous chemicals and viruses in order to create illness? A global experiment in population control? I needn’t register my own opinion here, though to me any one or all three seem(s) entirely plausible.

Certainly, many of us see evidence daily that this sick experiment is continuing apace. The chemtrail assault (where I currently live, at any rate – Toronto, Ontario, Canada) has become simply relentless. No sky remains blue & cloudless for any length of time anymore! Along come those damn trail-spewing planes, leaving behind unmistakable trails that linger & linger, eventually morphing into cloud formations – leading to subsequent weather changes.

The Web site Geoengineering Watch is a place you can visit to find much, much information on the topic.  

As for little citizen scientist me? As a dedicated daily walker for the past 20+ years, always observing trees, birds, water bodies – & the sky – & the clouds – I can tell you with confidence, the sky is not what it used to be … nor are the clouds. Look up, people!

Pay attention to the planes. The ones that spew trails behind (trails that persist, & form clouds & later, weather) … & the ones that don’t. The ones that are spewing, suddenly stop for a spell, then resume. You must pay attention, or you will not observe this. (If you have never noticed the crazy trails in the sky already, then you have simply Not Been Paying Attention. Maybe you don’t get outside much?)

On another & key front, I’ve spent 10 years doing anti-nuclear work, learning more than I ever really wanted to know, believe me, about the ins & outs (the secrets & lies & utter lack of transparency) of the military-industrial complex.

I assure you, it is not a pretty picture.

I know that most people – the “average” person –  and very likely most politicians (some of whom know shockingly little about a great many important topics & issues) – either don’t know most of this stuff … or pretend they don’t. (They likely don’t want to know, either. Who does?? As previously referenced, it is not a pretty picture.)

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.” – Upton Sinclair

Like many of us these daze, I watch shows on Netflix. All the current or modern-day shows routinely display shots of chemtrail-sporting skies – something you do not see when you watch an old movie. This jumps right out at you … assuming you are paying attention.

Here is something I have learned, to my great disappointment, in 30+ years as an activist: that scientists (some scientists; well, and some engineers too, it must be said - or hmmm.... many people who possess a PhD ... & some who don't have any fancy degrees, either) feel absolutely no hesitation or compunction whatsoever in pronouncing noisily & confidently on areas of science (or anything else, frankly) that is well beyond their own area of expertise – apparently assuming that since they know a very great deal indeed about a very small piece of some aspect of things that go on here on Planet Earth (for a great many, if not most, scientists/researchers/specialists of any kind, the locus of expertise is within a very narrow sphere indeed), they therefore know everything there is to know about EVERYthing. And are mighty willing to pontificate about it, too. Loudly! Authoritatively.

But they don’t. (Know everything about everything, I mean. NOBODY knows everything!)

& I’ve experienced by now quite a number of incidents involving scientists (& others) pronouncing on matters about which they are absolutely, 100% wrong & completely uninformed. So. The pronouncements of scientists, like the pronouncements of anyone, must always be treated with an appropriate degree of skepticism. (We must all learn to do a little digging/research of our own, hmmmm?)

Here is another kind of quirky, funny, interesting thing: a long-time fan/reader of the writer Kurt Vonnegut, I always remember him making comments about his brother having been a “cloud physicist” at General Electric, working to precipitate “certain kinds of clouds as snow or rain – with dry ice or silver iodide, and maybe some other stuff.” (He mentions his brother often, actually, in his non-fiction.)

He mentions this in his 1970 ‘Address to the American Physical Society’ in his simply awesome (in my view, must-read) collection of essays Wampeters Foma & Granfalloons.

Later in that same collection, in the Playboy interview, he says:

“But they [scientists]’ve learned that anything they turn up will be applied if it can be. It’s a law of life that if you turn up something that can be used violently, it will be used violently. I’ve been proud of my brother because of the actual innocence of his work – like cloud-seeding with dry ice and silver iodide. He discovered that silver iodide would make it snow and rain under certain conditions. And I watched his shock about a year ago when it came out that we had been seeding the hell out of Indochina for years. He had known nothing about it.” [emphasis mine]

Thinking of this, I was reminded of an important fact pointed out by scientist David Suzuki in his 1989 essay collection Inventing the Future – Reflections on Science, Technology And Nature:

“Another uncomfortable fact is that the vast majority of scientists and engineers in the world carry out work for the military. Such work may be called “defense research” but ultimately it translates into weapons for killing. After all, the horribly imaginative weapons – neutron, particle beam, chemical, biological, ethnic – don’t come from the minds of politicians or military strategists but are the products of the fertile imagination of scientists and engineers.

The majority of the remainder of the scientific and engineering professions works for private industry – for profit...” (from the book’s Introduction)

And later, in the section of the book on Science and the Military

“Scientists are reluctant to acknowledge that the major uses to which their disciplines are put are military. Over half of all scientists and engineers in the world work directly for or with research grants from departments of defence. While this application of new insights for destructive purposes is not new, the scale and scope of modern military establishments is without precedent.” (from Inventing the Future – Reflections on Science, Technology And Nature)

He goes on to say

“And whoever pays the piper calls the tune in terms of priorities. It is a grotesque perversion of the high ideals of the scientific community for its ideas and discoveries to be used for destruction and death.” (pg. 87)


Well, who knew…… hmmmm?

Then, in 2001, Dr. Rosalie Bertell pointed out in Planet Earth – The Latest Weapon of War

“The US and Canada had been cooperating in weather modification experiments since 1958.”

& of the compounds used,

“All are combustible and most are destructive of the ozone layer.” (pg. 116)


“Reports on the environmental impact of these experiments are non-existent since they predate the legislation that would have required it. I once approached the Canadian Parliamentary Librarian to see if there were official accounts of the aftermath of these experiments. I was told that there were no environmental problems since the scientists conducting the experiments did not report any and there was no outcry from the public. Of course, the public had no idea that the beautifully coloured sky they observed [a spectacular aurora borealis produced by CRMs or Chemical Release Modules over Churchill, Manitoba in February 1983] may have been caused by deliberate experimentation.” (pg. 117)


You see, the entire chemtrail / geoengineering phenomenon exists under a military umbrella.

As such, scientific data about it are not readily publicly available.

The military-industrial complex, I am sorry to report, does whatever it damn well pleases. Perhaps you are/were not aware of this. Unfortunately, just because you didn’t know it, doesn’t mean that it is not so.

So the next time someone tells you the chemtrail phenomenon is “made up” or a “fiction,” you can politely explain that, just because the data/science are not readily available, does not in any way prove that the experimentation with chemtrails / geoengineering is not taking place.

Albert Einstein apparently had a sign over his desk at Princeton that said

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.”

If something isn't being counted, how can we count on hearing about it??





p.s. Oops & heaven help us – I almost forgot about the ozone layer!

You know how you’re always hearing that the ozone layer problem has been “solved”?

Utter balderdash!

Have you not noticed how burn-y the sun is, oftentimes, when you’re outside – sometimes even on a very cold day, say, in Toronto? (If not, you need to get outside more!) Or even through a window sometimes?

Why is it so damn burn-y?

Because the ozone layer has been shredded, of course.

Secondly, ask yourself this (sooooooo-not-a-rocket-science) question:

If the ozone layer problem has been solved, then why do all our radio & TV stations still routinely give us information on the “UV rating”????

If the ozone layer were truly “fixed,” why would we still be needing to hear about the freaking UV rating?? Is that just so the companies that make sunscreen can keep on laughing all the way to the bank?

p.p.s. I don't want to distract you from the Resources I'm offering up below (there's some important stuff there!!). But I do think my posting Science. Scientists. Scientism.Pedestals. Religion, too. & cherry-picking, from a few months ago, is somewhat relevant to this discussion. Look over the resources, & if you manage to get a chance, read that other posting too.


Resources I Can Recommend


** just ones I happen to have on my own bookshelves, & which seem relevant &/or from which I have quoted for this little essay


Web sites

A Recent Article about weather modification Post-Chernobyl Accident

Chernobyl’s disastrous cover-up is a warning for the next nuclear age <April 4/19, the Guardian>

World run by psychopaths.jpg

P.S. oh merciful heavens, humans! I am NOT A CLIMATE CHANGE DENIER!? Yes, I “believe in” chemtrails/geoengineering/weather modification. I have also LONG been aware of climate change due to human activity. Please for the love of … whatever (I do not believe in the “God” of religious folk… how about the love of truth????)…. do not mistake me for a climate change denier!! I am soooo not a climate change denier, I have twice been arrested for climate change gigs. The problems human beings have created on our beautiful planet take in both climate change due to excessive carbon blow-outs (& let’s not forget methane blow-outs due to human-induced temperature increases!) … & weather f***-up due to geoengineering. We have f***ed up in truly multiduninous ways! (See this posting for an inkling on that score.) If you think you’re being clever by denying human-induced climate change, do NOT include me in your number. I am not of that clan … not at all!!

Some relevant Quotations

“Imagine if, for the last 50 years, we had sprayed the whole earth with a nerve gas. Would you be upset? Would I be upset? Yes! I think people would be screaming in the streets. Well...we’ve done that.  We’ve released endocrine disruptors throughout the world that are having fundamental effects on the immune system, on the reproductive system. We have good data that show that wildlife and humans are being affected. Should we be upset? Yes – I think we should be fundamentally upset. I think we should be screaming in the streets!” – Prof Louis Guillette

“But to protect our ozone layer we must explore why we have become our own worst enemy. Nature is not an inexhaustible good. It is time to recognize that our stay on this planet cannot be rent free. If a total phase-out of chlorofluorocarbons were to occur tomorrow, it would be too late to stop the destruction from tons of CFCs already en route to ozone layer. We can’t take them back. We will be reminded of their devastating effects well into the twenty-second century.” – from Ozone Crisis: The 15-Year Evolution of a Sudden Global Emergency, by Sharon Roan (1989), page 263. Downloadable pdf of the book here.

“Chemicals have replaced bacteria and viruses as the main threat to health. The diseases we are beginning to see as the major causes of death in the latter part of (the 1900's) and into the 21st century are diseases of chemical origin.” – Dr. Dick Irwin, Toxicologist, Texas A&M University

“Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex.” – Frank Zappa

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.” – Upton Sinclair

“Scientists are reluctant to acknowledge that the major uses to which their disciplines are put are military. Over half of all scientists and engineers in the world work directly for or with research grants from departments of defence. While this application of new insights for destructive purposes is not new, the scale and scope of modern military establishments is without precedent.” (from Inventing the Future – Reflections on Science, Technology And Nature, by David Suzuki)

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” – Mark Twain (more Twain quotes)

** a ton of great quotations about science here

** More from Dr. Bertell’s book Planet Earth - The Latest Weapon of War (published in 2001).

The book is well-indexed. Note that Dr. Bertell does not use the terms “chemtrails” or “geoengineering.” Her phrase is “weather modification.” Key quotes for me:

1. Back in 1946 General Electric (“one of the U.S. military’s prime contractors”) began experimenting on weather modification. (p. 113)

2. “…the weather modification national research programme launched by President Eisenhower in the late 1950s.” (p.114)

3. “The US military's intention to undertake environmental engineering, especially to gain control of weather, is well documented.” (p.114).

4. “The US and Canada had been cooperating in weather modification experiments since 1958.” (p.116)

5. The substances used are “combustible and most are destructive of the ozone layer.” (p.116)

6. “Reports on the environmental impacts of these experiments [that she has been discussing] are non-existent since they predate the legislation that would have required it.” (p. 117)

7. “Alarmed at this further atmospheric experimentation [Puerto Rico & Australia, & that in addition to U.S. sites/installations] a “U.S. Senate subcommittee attempted to bring some measure of accountability to weather modification in 1975 by requesting that all experiments be overseen by a civilian agency answerable to the U.S. Congress. Unfortunately the bill was not passed.” (p. 119)

Twain on imbeciles copy.jpg